


Shirt Raids!

by BluBooThalassophile



Series: HfaB Universe [24]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 16:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15867864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluBooThalassophile/pseuds/BluBooThalassophile
Summary: Raven's decided revenge is in order for the horror novels her friend bestowed upon her. His sisters have merely decided to help Raven in her quest.





	Shirt Raids!

Raven walked through the store of goofy shirts, having selected a few for Jason, and herself.

“Rae!” Stephanie bounded up to her holding a shirt that read: IDK. IDC. IDGAF.

“Yes, that’s perfect!” Raven smiled devilishly as she picked it from Stephanie’s hands. Raven was a quest; a rather vital quest, to annoy the hell out of Jason, who had bought her 1984, Frankenstein, Count Dracula, It, The Shining, Books of Blood, Broken Monsters, and the Exorcist; all of which he knew she despised with a fiery passion. Not because they weren’t good pieces of literature but rather because she did not fancy the horror story genre as a whole; despite her goth period in her tweens she’d never liked horror. It reminded her too much of herself, so she was on a quest to find the most annoyingly inappropriate shirts for him to wear in public and set his others on fire.

She had about five Deadpool ones, which were givens given him. But others were also to annoy his family.

Her personal favorite of the selection was one meant to freak his family out and probably have him on the floor laughing. It was a Zombie Minion and the caption read ‘That Awkward Moment When A Zombie Is Looking For Brains And It Walks Right Past You’. Another shirt she had picked up would have him cringing at the hordes of women who’d run after him ‘Orgasm Donor’, also ‘Mister ↑ Right | Mister ↓  All Night’, ‘ ⸌Leg Rests⸍ ’, ‘If You See Me Running Call 911’, ‘No.’, ‘I Prefer My Puns Intended’, ‘Only Because Badass Problem Solver Is Not An Official Job Title’, ‘Introverts Unite! | Separately | In Your Own Homes’, ‘I Have No Idea What I’m Doing’, ‘Fuck | -verb [faak] | -ing -er -s| Fuck can be used in many ways and is probably the only fucking word that can be put every fuckingwhere and still make fucking sense. Fuckers.’, ‘Not to get Technical But According to Chemistry Alcohol is a Solution’, ‘I’d Rather Be Reading’, ‘No Pants Are the Best Pants’, ‘I Try Not to Laugh at My Own Jokes But We All Know I’m Hilarious’, ‘→ The “She” to My “Nanigans”’, ‘← The “Miss” to My “Chief”’, ‘I’m Currently Unsupervised | (This Should Frighten You)’, ‘I Would Like to Publicly Announce That I Have No Idea What I’m Doing’, ‘To Quote MacBeth Act II, Scene I, Line 587: “Shut Up”’, ‘Classy As Fuck’, ‘Everything Happens for a Reason… And That Reason Is Usually Physics.’, ‘To Quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No”’, ‘1984 Was Not Supposed to be an Instruction Manual’, ‘I Drink and I Know Things’, ‘Thick Thighs Save Lives’, ‘”K.” Well Potassium To You Too.’, ‘My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Serious Mental Problems’, ‘I’m Ready. | Nat Turner 1831’, and ‘I Bake Because Punching People Is Frowned Upon’.

Given Jason surly, grouchy exterior Raven could see where some of these shirts would be offsetting to his persona, others were likely to have him either cringing or others, and others were just too fucking hilarious for her not to pick them up.

“Little Brother will have many shirt,” Cass observed.

“He handed me horror novels, he’s losing his shirts,” she stated firmly.

“Marry him!” Cass smiled, Raven groaned as her head fell in her hand.

“No.”

“Rachel!?” a voice gasped, Raven twisted around to see Rena smiling as she approached.

“Rena?” she said and stiffened as she was pulled into a hug.

“It’s so good to see you! Where’s Jason!?” she asked.

“Little brother is home,” Cass answered.

“Shame, I’d have loved to have caught up with him,” Rena sighed.

“Jay’s busy, you know, stuff,” Stephanie announced holding a shirt that had Raven snorting as she bit her lip to keep from laughing; ‘I have a PhD | (pretty huge dick)’. Rena’s face peeked with interest at the shirt.

“I see,” she flicked a meaningful look at Raven which had her frowning.

“Not me,” she scowled. She was a virgin, a twenty year old virgin and likely to die a virgin too.

“Then what’s with all the shirts?”

“Little brother and wife arguing,” Cass said

“You and I are going to have a talk about Jay and I’s relationship if you and the rest of the batty family don’t stop this,” she warned. Cass smiled and Stephanie snorted.

“Only denying the inevitable Rae,” Stephanie stated.

“I am not!” she snapped at the two of them.

“So what are your plans Rae?” Rena asked which had her snapping over to the brunette who smile kindly.

“Rae school with us,” Cass announced.

“Yeah! She’s in our classes!” Stephanie announced lopping their arms.

“I’m going to Gotham City Community College this fall, and intending to go to university from there,” she admitted

“That’ll be a busy time, I’m heading to Princeton to continue my Chemical and Biological Engineering studies,” Rena smiled.

“Damn.” Stephanie gaped at Rena.

“Well, Jason never did fancy dumb women, makes sense,” Raven shrugged.

“What are you going to study?” Rena asked with a genuine interest that alarmed Raven’s empathy. The girl was curious about her, not Jason; odd.

“I don’t know, I going to get the basics and go from there,” Raven shrugged.

“That’s a good plan, oh, there’s Eddie, he went to school with Jay and I, Eddie!” Rena shouted. Raven snatched the shirt and tossed it in the cart just as Cass landed on the shirts and Stephanie stepped in front of the cart.

“Rachel, this is Eddie,” Rena smiled.

“So you’re the chick with Jason,” the blonde smiled charmingly as he extended his hand and Raven frowned.

“I’m not ‘with’ him. I don’t know why everyone insists I am,” she sighed.

“Because Jay don’t like anyone,” Cass quipped.

“Doesn’t. And he does too,” Raven snapped at Jason’s sister.

“Little brother temperamental,” Cass argued.

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Stephanie snorted.

“Okay, that’s it, I’ve had enough socializing today! Nice to meet you Eddie. Steph, Cass, we’re checking out and I’m going home,” Raven said dragging the blonde and cart with her.


End file.
